if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she told me i tasted like america
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize