There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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