I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize