porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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