that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I can't turn off my feet"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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