Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
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I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
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Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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