Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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