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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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