just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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