just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
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How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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