You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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