The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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