dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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