There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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