I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize