Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize