I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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