Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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