I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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