Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Damn victory sex feels great
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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