i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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