Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize