My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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