I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Buhtt sex?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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