Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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