I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize