Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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