Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I bet he comes in French.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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