and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
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His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
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Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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