I think im going to throw up on grandma
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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