Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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