those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize