My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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