the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
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she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
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Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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