we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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