It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize