The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize