Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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