i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
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like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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