She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
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Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
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Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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