im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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