At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
party gras won. party gras always wins.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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