you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize