You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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