well I can't set my house on fire every night
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
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