so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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