is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
please come you make the beer taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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