Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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