there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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