; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
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Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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